Counting to what I don't know. Today is the anniversary of Dad's death. Eleven years. Saying it still seems surreal. Some days I imagine living on West Edmonston and life being like it was before those few days. Before we had to say goodbye to probably one of the best men that ever lived. I truly cant say I miss him any less than I did back then, in fact I quite possibly miss him even more. More in the sense that although I know he can 'see' everything that goes on in our lives he has missed out on so much. Well, maybe he hasn't 'missed out' but we have missed out on those experiences with him. In eleven years, he has missed so many things, my graduations - from high school and college TWO times! His kids (except Nickee and I) moving out of the state and finding their own places to build lives in. Tony's retirement and Nickee getting a degree (well soon at least). His grandchildren who would have been his light. Well, maybe he hasn't 'missed out' but we have missed out on those experiences with him. I often wonder how different life could/would be if Dad was alive. I simply cant imagine.
The older I get the more I realize that the simple things in life are what matter most and when those whom you truly hold close to your heart are no longer around to experience those simple things with you, they lose some of their meaning. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for knowing him the time I did, but would give anything to have that back and to relive so many experiences (including ones to come). Miss you and love you Daddy.
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