Cloud 9

I finally know what it feels like to be on "Cloud 9" I'm sitting on it and enjoying the ride. I know all of you are wondering "what is Kristine smoking?' Most of you know I met a guy a fews months ago. Well we are still going strong and a week or two ago we decided to be exclusive. YES PEOPLE I have a boyfriend. Amazing I know but I enjoy every moment I spend with him. He is unlike anyone I've met. He's genuine, sweet, honest, caring, thinks about others needs before his own and a gentlemen. I've always picked the wrong men. Not this time. I know this ones a good catch. He makes me smile everytime I think of him, look at him even talking to him makes me glow with happiness. It's been 6 plus years since I had any feelings like this and these are even stronger. For the first time in my life I'm in a healthy relationship. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world. So on top of that and him being who he is. How can I not be on "Cloud 9"

U win some, U lose some

Monday was my first day of 'mixed emotions' at work. I was only working 8 hours, and honestly for a Monday, it was very calm - which was awesome. I've been really tired lately, can't seem to enjoy the sleep I've been getting.

Anyway, for starters I took 2 patients on my own, and did fine with that challenge. And one of them was a big deal - I was pushing/hanging Heparin, cause she had a heart attack that morning. Cute little old lady said to me 'well the Dr. Says I had a heart attack". I said, you did! Anyway, considering the event she had, I was excited to have her and keep it under control.

I FINALLY got to the bottom of the u need to take an IV class versus it's a learn while you work thing. It was decided I was just to start doing IV's/taking blood. I didn't need the class, I was just to have someone walk me through/coach me and do it. That's apparently the way I'm going to learn. So, needless to say, although I was excited I kept thinking 'Oh sh*t', I gotta poke people today - I did try 2 Thursday, with no luck, but neither one turned out to be an easy stick. I chickened out on the first one I was to do, but I was told I didn't have a choice on the second one, and I did it!! I also went in and stuck someone else all by myself. Now, we are talking about straight sticks - simply for blood - a small needle with butterfly wings which are much easier to handle than the IV ones, but at least I had success twice. I haven't done an IV successfully, but now I don't feel quite so intimidated. Its not that the needles scare me or anything, its that I don't want to listen to the people SCREAM at you when u poke them with a needle!! I enjoyed it so much, I kinda felt like a vampire!!

Those were the good things in my day. On to the not so good things.

People die, it's a part of life, don't I know that to the fullest extent. Its just something I'm hoping is going to hit me a little easier the more of it I see. Not necessarily on people I know, but when dealing with patients. Actually, its more of a matter of the family. Cause I feel their pain. I believe you die when God says its time, so I don't question that no matter how it happens. The family and watching them, that's what gets me, bad. Today was the first real code I was in on, and quite frankly, she was dead when she arrived - they'd been doing CPR for 25 minutes before they got there and her heart rhythm was Asystole (meaning no beats from any part of the heart) since the time they arrived on the scene. Being as no one knew how long she was down before she was found, there is a huge possibility that she'd been without oxygen to the brain for a detrimental amount of time - and therefore bringing her back would have been not such a good thing (nor an easy task).

Besides that, 2 of the patients I had were teenagers - who overdosed......On depression meds, and the other on anxiety pills. It eats me up to see these young kids (and it is weird to say that, but I do recognize, I'm kinda an adult know ;)!) so distraught that they do this. Adults too, but kids especially. I mean they are just kids.

Anyway, these are just pieces of the things I know I will see in the ER, and I'm sure I will learn to digest them all easier, just was the first time I'd faced all kinds of things in one day, so I thought I'd share!

Spring is here!!!!!!!

Imagine my eyes last night on my way to Mt. Scary when i saw something i definately was not ready for yet. Yep you got it. And because I know how much you all love this joint i find it my civic duty to inform all involved.

Jimmie Cone is OPEN!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the goods and welcome spring.

Something REAL funny happened today

Well, as many times as I've joked about it and heard it in movies, etc......I've never been around when it really happens.

Today, as I'm walking through the grocery store, over the intercom comes "Clean up Aisle 4 - with a mop please".

LOL.......................I literally started laughing out loud and people looked at me like I had something wrong with me!!

Interesting article

U know I'm always reading up on any advances/new finds in the breast cancer arena. Came upon this article tonight and thought it was quite interesting.

http://www.medpagetoday.com/HematologyOncology/BreastCancer/dh/2887

Catch up

Holy crap is all I can say. The weekend was awesome Karen and I went to see the little fat face. He was a nut - started out at dinner Friday telling me we were gonna 'RIP IT UP'. Now it cant possibly be a good thing when a 4 year old tells you that!! He also proceeded to tell me that I was his best friend - several times, how sweet is that!! So cute and such a monster. My favorite was him drivin the 'Grave Digger' that he got for XMas from Santa. He 'rips it up' for sure in that thing!! We went swimming, shopping, I introduced him to the world of Charlotte's Web and went to the St. Paddy's Day parade - which was literally a mini Mardi Gras, beads, candy, coins and ALL!! Too much fun. I'll post one of his little pose he kept making for the firemen also - he was doin this little dance with both thumbs up in the air. He had me laughing!!

RIPPING IT UP IN GRAVEDIGGER!!

FIREMANS POSE (He loves firemen now that Daddy's one!)

SWIMMING W/AUNT BETHIE

Anyway yesterday and today at work were - well - lets just say, challenging. I had a patient two days in a row and she is certainly NOT an easy one. Not to mention yesterday I had to get a little short/kinda get in the face of a doctor - whoaaaaa. I haven't been there long, but he was plum pissing me off. Bottom line, my pt was in pain and nauseated, he said he'd go see her in 'a minute', (mind u this was the THIRD) time I had gone to him about her pain. Well guess what, 35 minutes later, he hadn't seen her and she was puking - WHICH could have been AVOIDED. Man was I hot. Needless to say I found out later that he is one of the not so nice ones, although I had already made my decision without others input!! Thank God when she was back today there were different doctors on - and I left....Only had to relive it for 3 hours. Better than another 8!

Off tomorrow, 12 hours of hell Thursday and 8 hours of class Friday - thank God that's almost over!!

3/19 Grey's quotes

Gosh I'm a slacker. Work has been keeping me busy as hell, and I was out of town this weekend. Anyway, Sunday's words:

My personal favorite:
Izzy (to Christina): "I did grow up in a trailer park, and I have no problem kicking your ass. And I do mean physically kicking your ass."

And another good one:
Izzy(to Mr. Cocky, cuz I cant remember his name): "No, I'm breaking up with u because that corpse is twice the man u will ever be, even on your best day. You're not good enough for me, you're not good enough for anyone. "

Grey's quotes 3/12

Although I didn't think the episode was up to par with the last few weeks, I did think it had several good quotes worth posting.

Ok, lets start with how in the hell do u get a fork in the BACK of your neck?? I mean kinky is one thing, but where exactly does the fork come in?? ;)

#4
Girl that gave George her number: Hey u didn't call me
George: I did, I did a couple of times, I just hung up
Girl that gave George her number:Great, well that's very stalker like

#3
All from Dr. Yang about Dr. Bailey's baby:
Ok, this is why some species eat their young!
Shut it, shut it, shut it, shhhhhhhhhhhh

#2
Meredith to George: I know you're going to get off this elevator and not look back, but George we are friends, true friends, and when u finally do decide to look back, Ill still be here. (So true about true friends!)

And the #1 for the week:
Meredith (narrating): Just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you knocks u off your feet. If you are lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band aid would cover, but some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal. (Quite a philosophy for life I'd say, how about you??)

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today, Dad would have been 60! Good lord, that's old ;) Damn shame he's not around for us to harass (well and for some other important life events as well, but we've learned that's life)!

Anyway, Happy Birthday Dad, Miss you more and Love you more every day!

xoxo,
Beth

May 1st - 10 years

You may not realize it, but its less than 2 months till the 10 year anniversary of Dad's death. I am planning a little I don't know what you'd call it, memorial or whatever. If anyone has any ideas please shoot them at me.

This is what I'm thinking (of course completely subject to change): I'd like to release butterflies, of course this is fairly contingent on the weather because it has to be above 62 degrees for them to take flight. I had wanted to do a dove, but Kelly didn't really like the idea of the dove being all alone, and with butterflies anyone who comes can release one if they chose. I'm not necessarily decided upon having a big thing at the graveside. Since the 1st is on a Monday, I don't really want to jack up a lot of peoples work schedules, just those who want to do whatever we do directly on the first. To be honest, I was thinking about just having a prayer/memorial thing graveside on Sunday, that way those who are out of town, or who cant miss work (or don't want to and I don't blame you), can attend if they so choose. I know Dad touched a lot of people's hearts and lives, and I want those who knew him (and for that matter, the ones who didn't but 'know' him through us) to be able to participate. I imagine we'll find someone's house to go to afterwards and have some food, I mean that is Queen tradition, and heck who knows, probably some alcohol (u didn't hear me say that!). Monday, I intend on going to the 9 am mass, or maybe its 830 now, but in either case, not the crack o dawn one!

I'm not trying to make a huge deal out of this, but a lot has changed in 10 years, and I just think if those of us who can get together do, we can do a little reminiscing about the wonderful man we were lucky enough to know. For me, especially recently, Dad has been on my mind a lot, and although it weighs on my heart heavily, its nice to reminisce.

____________________________________________________________________

I found this on the web the other day, and I thought it was quite profound - Just want to share it with you:

Shifting the Sun

When your father dies, say the Irish, you lose your umbrella against bad weather.
May his sun be your light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Welsh, you sink a foot deeper into the earth.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Canadians, you run out of excuses.
May you inherit his sun, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the French, you become your own father.
May you stand up in his light, say the Armenians.

When you father dies, say the Indians, he comes back as the thunder.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Russians, he takes your childhood with him.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the English, you join his club you vowed you wouldn't.
May you inherit his sun, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Armenians, your sun shifts forever.
And you walk in his light.

-Diana Der-Hovanessian

I also found this quote, which I don't think could sum up Dad's memory any better:

I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. -Leo Buscaglia

It's here :)

Got my RN license in the mail yesterday. I'll probably carry it around and show everyone for a while ;) - u know kinda like a brag book when u have a baby (but of course I sure as hell don't have one of those right now)! Its still very surreal. I know its for real, I mean I've been working and pushing meds, and I'm in a seminar that lasts 10 days over this month on ER nursing, you'd think those things would make it finally feel 'real'. But they doesn't. I'm not real sure when it will, but rest assured I know it will soon enough.

KRISTINE'S BDAY WAS YESTERDAY!! I called her, but still wanted to say HAPPY BDAY on here :)! She's reallllllllllllly close to 30 now, a lot closer than I am at least! :) Luv u girly.

I need a break, from life that is, anyone want to go on a weekend beach trip with me? I don't have to work any weekends between now and like April 5th - I don't know where I wanna go, I just freaking want to go. I really need a very very very long vacation, since I didn't get to really do jack last year with school and work, but I'll have to wait for the Safari to get that break.