U win some, U lose some

Monday was my first day of 'mixed emotions' at work. I was only working 8 hours, and honestly for a Monday, it was very calm - which was awesome. I've been really tired lately, can't seem to enjoy the sleep I've been getting.

Anyway, for starters I took 2 patients on my own, and did fine with that challenge. And one of them was a big deal - I was pushing/hanging Heparin, cause she had a heart attack that morning. Cute little old lady said to me 'well the Dr. Says I had a heart attack". I said, you did! Anyway, considering the event she had, I was excited to have her and keep it under control.

I FINALLY got to the bottom of the u need to take an IV class versus it's a learn while you work thing. It was decided I was just to start doing IV's/taking blood. I didn't need the class, I was just to have someone walk me through/coach me and do it. That's apparently the way I'm going to learn. So, needless to say, although I was excited I kept thinking 'Oh sh*t', I gotta poke people today - I did try 2 Thursday, with no luck, but neither one turned out to be an easy stick. I chickened out on the first one I was to do, but I was told I didn't have a choice on the second one, and I did it!! I also went in and stuck someone else all by myself. Now, we are talking about straight sticks - simply for blood - a small needle with butterfly wings which are much easier to handle than the IV ones, but at least I had success twice. I haven't done an IV successfully, but now I don't feel quite so intimidated. Its not that the needles scare me or anything, its that I don't want to listen to the people SCREAM at you when u poke them with a needle!! I enjoyed it so much, I kinda felt like a vampire!!

Those were the good things in my day. On to the not so good things.

People die, it's a part of life, don't I know that to the fullest extent. Its just something I'm hoping is going to hit me a little easier the more of it I see. Not necessarily on people I know, but when dealing with patients. Actually, its more of a matter of the family. Cause I feel their pain. I believe you die when God says its time, so I don't question that no matter how it happens. The family and watching them, that's what gets me, bad. Today was the first real code I was in on, and quite frankly, she was dead when she arrived - they'd been doing CPR for 25 minutes before they got there and her heart rhythm was Asystole (meaning no beats from any part of the heart) since the time they arrived on the scene. Being as no one knew how long she was down before she was found, there is a huge possibility that she'd been without oxygen to the brain for a detrimental amount of time - and therefore bringing her back would have been not such a good thing (nor an easy task).

Besides that, 2 of the patients I had were teenagers - who overdosed......On depression meds, and the other on anxiety pills. It eats me up to see these young kids (and it is weird to say that, but I do recognize, I'm kinda an adult know ;)!) so distraught that they do this. Adults too, but kids especially. I mean they are just kids.

Anyway, these are just pieces of the things I know I will see in the ER, and I'm sure I will learn to digest them all easier, just was the first time I'd faced all kinds of things in one day, so I thought I'd share!