Additions that need to register about a TEN on the gross-me-out foodometer (as Karen called it): the TGIFriday's Fried mozzarellaa Sticks in the BAG, as in looks like a chip bag OH AND the ¼ POUND Hamburger Dog that I saw today at 7-Eleven. I'm talking a wad of ground red meat in the shape of a hot dog, I was very close to vomiting.
Today, on my way home from work, what is following me?? Well none other than a PEPTO pink freaking Buick LeSabre, and when I say PEPTO I mean it! It was insane, so if you are ever in Westminster, keep your eyes open for it, actually keep your sunglasses on in case u see it!~
Oh, and I'm sick, got a cold (and who knows what else) after the first week in the ER :(. that's whats waht happens until my immune system builds itself up to the stability of Fort Knox....lets just hopedoesn'tdoesnt take too long. I got access to the meds machine since now I'm official, and my higher pay rate went into effect, man am I excited :)!! If you wanna check it out, you can go to the MD Board of Nursing website at www.mbon.org and search licensee under the nursing header on the left. Put in my first and last name and vwvwaaalllaaahhh!
At least I only have 12 more hours on the floor, and the last 16 of the week will be spent in a seminar........that might just put me to sleep though! Had the cutest baby in thr ER today, bright beautiful blue eys and super happy, that brightened my day just a bit :). (And I took a nap when I got home it was kinda nice!).
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Grey's quote 2/26
Dr. Shephard "Dr. Bailey, where’s my wife?"
Dr. Bailey "I don’t have to tell you."
Dr. Shephard "You have to tell me, I saved your husbands life"
Dr. Bailey "Well your wife saved my baby."
Dr. Shephard "So baby trumps husband?"
Dr. Bailey "Uh huh"
Encore line (just cuz I think its classic):
Meredith I did something so terrible that I am probably going to lose all of my friends.
Dr. Shephard You wont lose me (with the shi* eating smirk on his face).
Meredith You’re not my friend.
Dr. Bailey "I don’t have to tell you."
Dr. Shephard "You have to tell me, I saved your husbands life"
Dr. Bailey "Well your wife saved my baby."
Dr. Shephard "So baby trumps husband?"
Dr. Bailey "Uh huh"
Encore line (just cuz I think its classic):
Meredith I did something so terrible that I am probably going to lose all of my friends.
Dr. Shephard You wont lose me (with the shi* eating smirk on his face).
Meredith You’re not my friend.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
:)
It's official! I passed my boards....Well let me rephrase that. I paid the testing company $8 so I could see my 'unofficial' results. I'm hoping my license will be on the MD Board of Nursing's site tomorrow or Monday. Then I'm really official and just have to wait for the certificate!!!!!!!!!
How awesome is this? Journey from the beginning till the end is over. New journey beginning!
xoxo
How awesome is this? Journey from the beginning till the end is over. New journey beginning!
xoxo
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Holy Sh*!
Feet hurt.
Back hurts.
Lips are insanely chapped.
Still have a 12 hours shift to take on tomorrow!?!? What are the odds I won't pass out before its all over (prob slim to none), or at least not be able to walk anymore. And I'm supposed to go to Rockville after I get off work for dinner....I'll be honest that's not looking so good. But I am gonna try.
Nothing ridiculously exciting today, just some action in the psych pod, kinda bummed I didn't get to see what was going on, I'm pretty sure she was FOR REAL psychotic.
No IV's yet - just havent come across any good veins worth trying out my no-skill skills.
No results on BOARDS yet........maybe tomorrow. PRAY I passed, for real folks.
Night.
Back hurts.
Lips are insanely chapped.
Still have a 12 hours shift to take on tomorrow!?!? What are the odds I won't pass out before its all over (prob slim to none), or at least not be able to walk anymore. And I'm supposed to go to Rockville after I get off work for dinner....I'll be honest that's not looking so good. But I am gonna try.
Nothing ridiculously exciting today, just some action in the psych pod, kinda bummed I didn't get to see what was going on, I'm pretty sure she was FOR REAL psychotic.
No IV's yet - just havent come across any good veins worth trying out my no-skill skills.
No results on BOARDS yet........maybe tomorrow. PRAY I passed, for real folks.
Night.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
First Day of the rest of my life
This should have been posted Sunday night, or early yesterday, but I had other things going on - so here goes!
Started at 5:45 am……no joke…..got up, threw some sprunch spray in my hair (it was straight cause I had washed it the night before, and it was way too limp to put in a clip without it falling right back out). Put on my clothes while my cats looked at me with a very confused half asleep look…..might I add, I matched very nicely cute black and pink colored everything (including shoes), quite cute for that early in the morning! I’d like to mention that it was ONLY EIGHT freaking degrees outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My little car didn’t really want to start, but thank God she did.
Came in contact with 2 people that tested positive for the flu, lets just HOPE I don’t get it, cuz I sure didn’t get vaccinated and at this point in time its useless. Funny thing is, one of them we transferred upstairs and the people up there put her on contact isolation – which means u have to use gloves, gown AND mask each time u have contact (physical) with the patient. Uhm hello let’s review a minute: Myself and my preceptor had been all over this woman (u know what I mean) with none of the above, with the exception of gloves when we were doing tasks that required them……so we weren’t afraid, what’s their deal – it’s the DAMN FLU! Secondly, u go to the store don’t u? Well at least that’s what my charge nurse said, u are exposed to all that at the store (and I’m sure a million more nasty germs) and u sure don’t gown, glove and mask up for that trip do you?? Gimmie a damn break – and the best part is she was a “WEAK POSITIVE”……meaning BARELY had the flu!! (One bad thing about the ER is they could have who knows what and until we are suspicious or have blood work/urine cultures done and get the results you are clueless….leaving you apt to be exposed and not protected. That’s part of the nature of the beast).
Catheterized 2 people, both female – one a foley (long term), one a straight (get sample and get out). Interesting different between the two – the plastic tubes used vary considerably, the foley is VERY pliable, the other – not so much, and in fact I met major resistance and used much more force to get that one in. No IV’s– decided I was breaking in easy – Ill attempt IVs later this week. Put on about 5 different 12 lead EKG’s (monitor the heart – most came in with chest pain)………..and ran the actual reports for a few, we print them give em to the Dr and they decide what to do from there.
I was the ONLY person on the unit that had a pen light – used for neuro checks – felt kinda special I was the only one with it (then again I just haven’t lost it yet)……but I had to hunt it down before leaving cause triage didn’t bring it back. Gotta get my name on that, maybe then in the future it will return to me.
Uhm, did u know they have single servings of Mrs. Dash?? It was kinda funny, never knew that, but I learned they do (of course, that’s amongst a million other things).
Note to self: wash any SCRUBS that have black on them BEFORE wearing……my fingers/hands were tinted black all day. Felt like I was the diseased one!
Today, Tuesday, I took my Boards. Can’t say one way or another. It stopped at the minimum number of questions – and that could go either way. I could have done so well it didn’t see the need in testing me further (hopefully the case), or I could have answered so many wrong it didn’t see the point in giving me any more to screw up! I don’t feel like I did that bad, but its one of those things where you never know – and dang it – I can’t even remember those questions that I wasn’t certain of, so I can’t even attempt to look up the answers for future reference! In any case, supposedly within about 48 hours I can look on the MD Board of Nursing’s website to see if I am listed as a Registered Nurse in the state or not. Otherwise I wait for the letter in the mail which can take 2-4 weeks. I’ll be working the next 2 days and will check the site Thursday after I get home.
Random info for the day: A giraffe’s heart weighs 24 POUNDS!! Holy crap…………..
Started at 5:45 am……no joke…..got up, threw some sprunch spray in my hair (it was straight cause I had washed it the night before, and it was way too limp to put in a clip without it falling right back out). Put on my clothes while my cats looked at me with a very confused half asleep look…..might I add, I matched very nicely cute black and pink colored everything (including shoes), quite cute for that early in the morning! I’d like to mention that it was ONLY EIGHT freaking degrees outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My little car didn’t really want to start, but thank God she did.
Came in contact with 2 people that tested positive for the flu, lets just HOPE I don’t get it, cuz I sure didn’t get vaccinated and at this point in time its useless. Funny thing is, one of them we transferred upstairs and the people up there put her on contact isolation – which means u have to use gloves, gown AND mask each time u have contact (physical) with the patient. Uhm hello let’s review a minute: Myself and my preceptor had been all over this woman (u know what I mean) with none of the above, with the exception of gloves when we were doing tasks that required them……so we weren’t afraid, what’s their deal – it’s the DAMN FLU! Secondly, u go to the store don’t u? Well at least that’s what my charge nurse said, u are exposed to all that at the store (and I’m sure a million more nasty germs) and u sure don’t gown, glove and mask up for that trip do you?? Gimmie a damn break – and the best part is she was a “WEAK POSITIVE”……meaning BARELY had the flu!! (One bad thing about the ER is they could have who knows what and until we are suspicious or have blood work/urine cultures done and get the results you are clueless….leaving you apt to be exposed and not protected. That’s part of the nature of the beast).
Catheterized 2 people, both female – one a foley (long term), one a straight (get sample and get out). Interesting different between the two – the plastic tubes used vary considerably, the foley is VERY pliable, the other – not so much, and in fact I met major resistance and used much more force to get that one in. No IV’s– decided I was breaking in easy – Ill attempt IVs later this week. Put on about 5 different 12 lead EKG’s (monitor the heart – most came in with chest pain)………..and ran the actual reports for a few, we print them give em to the Dr and they decide what to do from there.
I was the ONLY person on the unit that had a pen light – used for neuro checks – felt kinda special I was the only one with it (then again I just haven’t lost it yet)……but I had to hunt it down before leaving cause triage didn’t bring it back. Gotta get my name on that, maybe then in the future it will return to me.
Uhm, did u know they have single servings of Mrs. Dash?? It was kinda funny, never knew that, but I learned they do (of course, that’s amongst a million other things).
Note to self: wash any SCRUBS that have black on them BEFORE wearing……my fingers/hands were tinted black all day. Felt like I was the diseased one!
Today, Tuesday, I took my Boards. Can’t say one way or another. It stopped at the minimum number of questions – and that could go either way. I could have done so well it didn’t see the need in testing me further (hopefully the case), or I could have answered so many wrong it didn’t see the point in giving me any more to screw up! I don’t feel like I did that bad, but its one of those things where you never know – and dang it – I can’t even remember those questions that I wasn’t certain of, so I can’t even attempt to look up the answers for future reference! In any case, supposedly within about 48 hours I can look on the MD Board of Nursing’s website to see if I am listed as a Registered Nurse in the state or not. Otherwise I wait for the letter in the mail which can take 2-4 weeks. I’ll be working the next 2 days and will check the site Thursday after I get home.
Random info for the day: A giraffe’s heart weighs 24 POUNDS!! Holy crap…………..
Grey's Quotes
I've decided from here on out, I will be posting the line of the week from Grey's Anatomy (of course totally my sole opinion). Sunday, February 19, 2006:
Chief: "Did you put your weight behind it?"
Dr. McDreamy: "Yes sir"
Chief: "Well alright then"
Gotta love it - changes the WHOLE perspective when you know the TRUE situation :).
Sunday, February 12, 2006: (per Kristine as it uses one of her favorite words):
Natzi (Dr. Bailey): "O'Malley"
O'Malley: "Yes Dr. Bailey"
Natzi (Dr. Bailey): "Stop looking at my va-- gee-- gee"
Chief: "Did you put your weight behind it?"
Dr. McDreamy: "Yes sir"
Chief: "Well alright then"
Gotta love it - changes the WHOLE perspective when you know the TRUE situation :).
Sunday, February 12, 2006: (per Kristine as it uses one of her favorite words):
Natzi (Dr. Bailey): "O'Malley"
O'Malley: "Yes Dr. Bailey"
Natzi (Dr. Bailey): "Stop looking at my va-- gee-- gee"
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
The day is fast approaching!
Well, I got the beginning of my schedule today - Sunday is my first day on the floor working with another nurse. Holy cow - I feel like I could PUKE! Scary scary scary. I know this whole apprehension is normal and stuff, but OMG it still feels kinda surreal.
Boards are Tuesday - I'll be engrossed in last minute reviewing for those Monday. Then Tuesday at 9 am, we have the tell all test - WISH ME LUCK (and PRAY!).
It looks like I will be working days from now until the end of March - then I will be switched to nights. I will be attending a 10 day consortium of several of the Maryland hospitals, and it occurs on 10 different days over the month of March. Because that is all day time, it doesn't make much sense for me to work some nights and then have to attend that during the day - my body would be really jacked up! So needless to say I have agreed to pull day shifts just to save myself some circadian rhythm issues. Funny thing is - I have to leave the house by 615 to be at work on time, for those of u that know me - I am sure this is as amusing as anything you have heard lately!! It's gonna be a challenge but its only for about 6 weeks. Phew, then I can work nights. Traveling to the consortium is gonna be a bitch - its in Baltimore.......I believe SE side, wherever Hopkins Bayview is (not the main Hopkins campus).
Finally saw the ER today, its really nice and BIG - and a large large circle, so I am sure I will be getting lost repeatedly over the next few weeks. After that, I'll probably have it under control. Oh and all 4 of the psych rooms were full dear God what have I gotten myself into? I will admit, the waiting area was empty, so that was kind of comforting.....And I got a mailbox in the staff lounge and I got my email address (yes I have work freaking email again......So NOT happy about that).................yippeeee!!!
And I wanted to thank Kristine for that morning laugh - I swear men get dumber and dumber every day - maybe one day they won't even be able to speak! How awesome would that be??
Boards are Tuesday - I'll be engrossed in last minute reviewing for those Monday. Then Tuesday at 9 am, we have the tell all test - WISH ME LUCK (and PRAY!).
It looks like I will be working days from now until the end of March - then I will be switched to nights. I will be attending a 10 day consortium of several of the Maryland hospitals, and it occurs on 10 different days over the month of March. Because that is all day time, it doesn't make much sense for me to work some nights and then have to attend that during the day - my body would be really jacked up! So needless to say I have agreed to pull day shifts just to save myself some circadian rhythm issues. Funny thing is - I have to leave the house by 615 to be at work on time, for those of u that know me - I am sure this is as amusing as anything you have heard lately!! It's gonna be a challenge but its only for about 6 weeks. Phew, then I can work nights. Traveling to the consortium is gonna be a bitch - its in Baltimore.......I believe SE side, wherever Hopkins Bayview is (not the main Hopkins campus).
Finally saw the ER today, its really nice and BIG - and a large large circle, so I am sure I will be getting lost repeatedly over the next few weeks. After that, I'll probably have it under control. Oh and all 4 of the psych rooms were full dear God what have I gotten myself into? I will admit, the waiting area was empty, so that was kind of comforting.....And I got a mailbox in the staff lounge and I got my email address (yes I have work freaking email again......So NOT happy about that).................yippeeee!!!
And I wanted to thank Kristine for that morning laugh - I swear men get dumber and dumber every day - maybe one day they won't even be able to speak! How awesome would that be??
Did you really ask me that??
Get this shit. I get a phone call from Josh this morning. He wants to know if he can have all the pictures I have of him (even the ones with me in them) so that he can scan them for his Match.com and E-Harmony profile. I started to laugh and then laughed even louder and a bit harder at the thought of my baby's daddy calling me asking for pictures to find his next baby's mommy. (haha) I am all about him finding a lovely lady. Actually I am excited about it so he will leave me alone. But it's a bit tacky don't you think to be calling me and asking me for picture's. You want to start over great. Buy a camera, say cheese, CLICK. You got a picture for your profile no need to involve me.
Following this he asks if I am dating anyone. I say not dating but very much interested in someone. He said that's why you've been a bitch to me. I said I am a bitch to you because you are a moron and being bitchy seems to be the only way to get to you. So I said no problem I will get your pictures together just please return them to me.
Am I the only ont hat thinks he is amoron for calling me to get pictures?
Following this he asks if I am dating anyone. I say not dating but very much interested in someone. He said that's why you've been a bitch to me. I said I am a bitch to you because you are a moron and being bitchy seems to be the only way to get to you. So I said no problem I will get your pictures together just please return them to me.
Am I the only ont hat thinks he is amoron for calling me to get pictures?
Monday, February 13, 2006
Damn!
That's not necessarily a bad 'damn', just a 'damn'. Whole bunch going on. Lets just say - we got lots OF SNOW this weekend and I love it!!!! My retarded cat even went outside for all of about 3 seconds till he realized I wasn't lying when I said it was cold out there!!
I was Martha Stewart's protege twice this weekend making chicken & dumplings with no recipe, and some spaghetti sauce Sunday, which I would say was pretty good - for me that is (cuz I don't normally cook - that is one thing Tom did very well and I loved it!).
My room is allllmost there......tv/vcr contraption is on the wall, and has not ripped a big hole in it yet - guess that means I found the stud :)! Oh, and Mom and I decided to buy a stud finder, after the adventure with her freaking ancient one, and Mike's brothers that we borrowed. We (I) decided we needed one, for us. End of story! One set of room-darkening blinds is up(the other window is still ghetto fabulous with a sheet hanging!), considering I will be going to sleep after the sun as come up on those days I come home from work - these may become a good friend of mine. Stereo is together and works - have some shelves I need to drill into the wall and drill the supports into them (in the other order that is)......Maybe I will get to that tomorrow.
Freaking missed Grey's Anatomy last night, and sadly enough I wasn't doing anything more than shopping in damn WalMart - not even close to a good enough excuse. I just totally forgot about that show, how did that happen?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I know how - CUZ - the damn DVR I have from the cable company doesn't work - I have to get someone to come out here and re-wire the room cause my cable is split from another room and the power isn't strong enough to feed the DVR what it needs or some technical mumbo jumbo crap. Needless to say, I am used to GA being taped on my DVR and this week, I didn't have the capability :(.
Today was hospital orientation, and can we say B - O -R - I - N - G.......For real, I had to start eating an apple lef over room lunch during one of the presentations cause my little head was bobbing, and I was about to pass out. Not really the best thing to do, but apparently I cant read. Tomorrow is more orientation, but nursing directed this time, so it shouldn't be as bad. Weds computer orientation, and I think only 1/2 day, which will be nice.
Found out I can weat whatever scrubs I want - color, print, style, etc - how sweeeeeet is that?!!?!? I will be taking a trip to Arundel Mills to go to the Scrubs & Beyond there, if anyone wants to go, let me know - I might need someone to keep my spending in check. I also want to go to the big bad ass movie theatre there, its the best one around I think (not that its super close, but if Im gonna be there, y not?).
Mom cashed in the CD's today, so I will be purchasing the plane tickets and travel insurance for the SAFARI - can't wait to do that!!! It'll be fun spending mega bucks...And then we are sending another check for like 8K to the SAFARI people, so we will have significantly paid down some of the balance.
Have to go find something to wear for tomorrow.......TTFN, sorry for the random rambling.... my brain hurts!
Oh, btw - "I've got chickens in my pocket"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was Martha Stewart's protege twice this weekend making chicken & dumplings with no recipe, and some spaghetti sauce Sunday, which I would say was pretty good - for me that is (cuz I don't normally cook - that is one thing Tom did very well and I loved it!).
My room is allllmost there......tv/vcr contraption is on the wall, and has not ripped a big hole in it yet - guess that means I found the stud :)! Oh, and Mom and I decided to buy a stud finder, after the adventure with her freaking ancient one, and Mike's brothers that we borrowed. We (I) decided we needed one, for us. End of story! One set of room-darkening blinds is up(the other window is still ghetto fabulous with a sheet hanging!), considering I will be going to sleep after the sun as come up on those days I come home from work - these may become a good friend of mine. Stereo is together and works - have some shelves I need to drill into the wall and drill the supports into them (in the other order that is)......Maybe I will get to that tomorrow.
Freaking missed Grey's Anatomy last night, and sadly enough I wasn't doing anything more than shopping in damn WalMart - not even close to a good enough excuse. I just totally forgot about that show, how did that happen?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I know how - CUZ - the damn DVR I have from the cable company doesn't work - I have to get someone to come out here and re-wire the room cause my cable is split from another room and the power isn't strong enough to feed the DVR what it needs or some technical mumbo jumbo crap. Needless to say, I am used to GA being taped on my DVR and this week, I didn't have the capability :(.
Today was hospital orientation, and can we say B - O -R - I - N - G.......For real, I had to start eating an apple lef over room lunch during one of the presentations cause my little head was bobbing, and I was about to pass out. Not really the best thing to do, but apparently I cant read. Tomorrow is more orientation, but nursing directed this time, so it shouldn't be as bad. Weds computer orientation, and I think only 1/2 day, which will be nice.
Found out I can weat whatever scrubs I want - color, print, style, etc - how sweeeeeet is that?!!?!? I will be taking a trip to Arundel Mills to go to the Scrubs & Beyond there, if anyone wants to go, let me know - I might need someone to keep my spending in check. I also want to go to the big bad ass movie theatre there, its the best one around I think (not that its super close, but if Im gonna be there, y not?).
Mom cashed in the CD's today, so I will be purchasing the plane tickets and travel insurance for the SAFARI - can't wait to do that!!! It'll be fun spending mega bucks...And then we are sending another check for like 8K to the SAFARI people, so we will have significantly paid down some of the balance.
Have to go find something to wear for tomorrow.......TTFN, sorry for the random rambling.... my brain hurts!
Oh, btw - "I've got chickens in my pocket"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 10, 2006
We know what he didn’t get this morning……….
Beth this ones for you. We all know how much you enjoyed listening to Hot Morning Mess for your morning laugh but I have found a new one. I believe its called Russ Par in the Morning (which is nationally syndicated) had people calling in this morning with things they saw on their ride in.
· Guy calls in- the guy next to him in traffic is putting on Lipstick
· Girl calls in- the guy in traffic is plucking nose hairs.
· Guy calls in- couple in HOV lane wife popping pimple husband using electric trimmer on nose hairs
Now these are just some of the ones I heard, but my favorite.
Lade calls in from Raleigh on I-40 the guy in traffic next to her has the Porn magazine balanced on the steering wheel. Needless to say when he notice they were looking he promptly pulled over to the shoulder.
Does this remind you of your adventures with the video screens coming back from Kel’s
I know the people in traffic this am thought I was looking my mind. I was dying listening to some of the stuff they were calling in with.
· Guy calls in- the guy next to him in traffic is putting on Lipstick
· Girl calls in- the guy in traffic is plucking nose hairs.
· Guy calls in- couple in HOV lane wife popping pimple husband using electric trimmer on nose hairs
Now these are just some of the ones I heard, but my favorite.
Lade calls in from Raleigh on I-40 the guy in traffic next to her has the Porn magazine balanced on the steering wheel. Needless to say when he notice they were looking he promptly pulled over to the shoulder.
Does this remind you of your adventures with the video screens coming back from Kel’s
I know the people in traffic this am thought I was looking my mind. I was dying listening to some of the stuff they were calling in with.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Officially a resident of Mount Scary........
Sunday, as I was carrying the last few things out of the apartment, I was so emotionally confused. I wanted to ball, I genuinely did just want lose it and do one of those drama acts, where I’m hysterical on the floor - u know like a 2 year old who didn't get what they wanted. I thought it’s what I needed - but then I looked around at the empty apartment and cracked a smile, I know that I followed my heart. I took a leap by moving in with Tom. There are so many people who can’t say they've done that - but I can. It certainly didn’t turn out the way I imagined (u know, no diamond, no wedding, no kids, blah, blah, blah, hahahaha), but at least I can say I did it. I shut that door (and part of my life) and have about a million open windows I’ve got to climb/look through this month.
I’ve moved into Mom’s, I have my NCLEX (state boards) on the 21st - which will make me ‘officially’ an RN - I'm beginning to FREAK OUT about this. I know I can do it and will do it - but OMG the concept of me being responsible for so many people’s lives and well-being, holy crap – and I will start a new job. All of these things will bring whole new opportunities for knowledge, friends, love, and living life - in all new ways. Although that sounds exciting to me - it also scares the hell outta me. Change is inevitable, but damn, I’d like a little stability in my life for a while!!! Here’s to me staying at Mom’s for at least a year - maybe longer (start praying for my sanity and patience now!). When I move out, I want to be able to buy something - cuz putting $ into renting is a waste, at least in my eyes (and of course that is if u can find something u can afford!).
For those of you who watch Grey’ Anatomy, I feel like Meredith, when she said Addison Shepherd had her ‘McLIFE’ – sometimes I feel like Tricia (Tom’s girlfriend) has ‘MY McLIFE’. I do. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want her ‘McLIFE’. He’s happy with her, she’s happy with him, so why the hell do I care? Because I do. I still care about him, no matter what I say - I still love him. I am not, however, still ‘in love’ with him. I guess the hard/weird part about all that for me is - Tom was my first true ‘love’. I've finally grasped the concept of loving someone but not being ‘in love’ with them. I have a completely different respect for it now. I get it; I really do (BUT IM NOT SAYING IT DOESN’T HURT!!). It's not that I don’t want him to be happy, I'd just rather it'd be with me (even though I know we’d most likely end up how we are)!
La la la la la la la (that's me trying to pleasantly transtion)
Now, onto the Mt. Scary move - O for starters, I wrote this damn blog entry in WORD cause I wasn’t able to set up the high speed yet and I flat REFUSE to use my mothers dial-up. Just not an option! I was at on point connected to the neighbors wireless, but upon coming upstairs into my room I lost it. And I didn’t feel like dealing with going back down the stairs (think I’ve done about oh at least 100 flights of stairs in the last week - man I should have a smoking HOT body by now!!). So I decided to write this in Word post it later.
I’ve already cleaned out the cabinets and pantry, and found all the counters - who knows what I will tackle later this week. Anything to try and get some sort of organization to this house, we all know how I am about that. The cats have already gotten into it, but nothing too bad yet. Scuttle is still primarily living under the bed, while Triton is attempting to venture out, but every little noise in the house makes him spaz and run back up the stairs. Devil just hisses at them both........and keeps looking at me like what in the hell have u done here???
Monday I went to the hospital and took care of paperwork and the physical, blood tests, drug test and badge. Weird feeling…. I had lunch with a friend from school in Baltimore - we ate some good Chinese and sushi - sadly enough Christine has her OWN pair of chopsticks at the restaurant......u think she eats there often?? We love to run our yaps and bitch about that lovely school we met at - and of course gossip about this and that and the other thing. I've practically driven by her house, as it was very close to Tom's old house - and Lord knows we were all over up there when we were together. At least I didn’t get lost on my way!
Tuesday I worked for Mom - trying to get her office just a bit organized.....however my room is still a mess, and there are still things ALL OVER the house, so I think that will be my task for Wednesday. I've got to study on a daily basis for the NCLEX from now until I take it - because not passing is not an option!
Thursday I'm hoping to catch up with another girl from school (Kelly - the CRAZY one!) - and do some NCLEX studying and maybe lunch. We have a lot in common when it comes to the cats and dating men who are momma's boys and kicking them out of the house.......so we connect on a lot of levels!! It's weird not being totally overwhelmed with a million things to do, but it's also nice. I just don’t want to get used to it - cuz once I start working, I know I'll be pretty darn worn out. And my feet are killing me from moving........what the hell are they gonna feel like when I am on them for 12 hours a day???? Time for the hunting of expensive really comfy shoes. I start orientation next week on Monday, better get on that mission!
Oh, and for those of you who will be around when I do decide to move out of Mom’s - I WILL and I repeat WILL have the $$ to pay someone else to move my SH*T! I will have been making good money for a while, and there will be no excuse - I insist everyone remind me of that when it’s time. And then, unless you are really in the mood to help me move - refuse to (and keep reminding me that I need to pay someone)!! I figure, since 1996, I've moved 12 times - and that's if I counted correctly........ It’s about damn time I pay someone else to do it!
I’ve moved into Mom’s, I have my NCLEX (state boards) on the 21st - which will make me ‘officially’ an RN - I'm beginning to FREAK OUT about this. I know I can do it and will do it - but OMG the concept of me being responsible for so many people’s lives and well-being, holy crap – and I will start a new job. All of these things will bring whole new opportunities for knowledge, friends, love, and living life - in all new ways. Although that sounds exciting to me - it also scares the hell outta me. Change is inevitable, but damn, I’d like a little stability in my life for a while!!! Here’s to me staying at Mom’s for at least a year - maybe longer (start praying for my sanity and patience now!). When I move out, I want to be able to buy something - cuz putting $ into renting is a waste, at least in my eyes (and of course that is if u can find something u can afford!).
For those of you who watch Grey’ Anatomy, I feel like Meredith, when she said Addison Shepherd had her ‘McLIFE’ – sometimes I feel like Tricia (Tom’s girlfriend) has ‘MY McLIFE’. I do. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want her ‘McLIFE’. He’s happy with her, she’s happy with him, so why the hell do I care? Because I do. I still care about him, no matter what I say - I still love him. I am not, however, still ‘in love’ with him. I guess the hard/weird part about all that for me is - Tom was my first true ‘love’. I've finally grasped the concept of loving someone but not being ‘in love’ with them. I have a completely different respect for it now. I get it; I really do (BUT IM NOT SAYING IT DOESN’T HURT!!). It's not that I don’t want him to be happy, I'd just rather it'd be with me (even though I know we’d most likely end up how we are)!
La la la la la la la (that's me trying to pleasantly transtion)
Now, onto the Mt. Scary move - O for starters, I wrote this damn blog entry in WORD cause I wasn’t able to set up the high speed yet and I flat REFUSE to use my mothers dial-up. Just not an option! I was at on point connected to the neighbors wireless, but upon coming upstairs into my room I lost it. And I didn’t feel like dealing with going back down the stairs (think I’ve done about oh at least 100 flights of stairs in the last week - man I should have a smoking HOT body by now!!). So I decided to write this in Word post it later.
I’ve already cleaned out the cabinets and pantry, and found all the counters - who knows what I will tackle later this week. Anything to try and get some sort of organization to this house, we all know how I am about that. The cats have already gotten into it, but nothing too bad yet. Scuttle is still primarily living under the bed, while Triton is attempting to venture out, but every little noise in the house makes him spaz and run back up the stairs. Devil just hisses at them both........and keeps looking at me like what in the hell have u done here???
Monday I went to the hospital and took care of paperwork and the physical, blood tests, drug test and badge. Weird feeling…. I had lunch with a friend from school in Baltimore - we ate some good Chinese and sushi - sadly enough Christine has her OWN pair of chopsticks at the restaurant......u think she eats there often?? We love to run our yaps and bitch about that lovely school we met at - and of course gossip about this and that and the other thing. I've practically driven by her house, as it was very close to Tom's old house - and Lord knows we were all over up there when we were together. At least I didn’t get lost on my way!
Tuesday I worked for Mom - trying to get her office just a bit organized.....however my room is still a mess, and there are still things ALL OVER the house, so I think that will be my task for Wednesday. I've got to study on a daily basis for the NCLEX from now until I take it - because not passing is not an option!
Thursday I'm hoping to catch up with another girl from school (Kelly - the CRAZY one!) - and do some NCLEX studying and maybe lunch. We have a lot in common when it comes to the cats and dating men who are momma's boys and kicking them out of the house.......so we connect on a lot of levels!! It's weird not being totally overwhelmed with a million things to do, but it's also nice. I just don’t want to get used to it - cuz once I start working, I know I'll be pretty darn worn out. And my feet are killing me from moving........what the hell are they gonna feel like when I am on them for 12 hours a day???? Time for the hunting of expensive really comfy shoes. I start orientation next week on Monday, better get on that mission!
Oh, and for those of you who will be around when I do decide to move out of Mom’s - I WILL and I repeat WILL have the $$ to pay someone else to move my SH*T! I will have been making good money for a while, and there will be no excuse - I insist everyone remind me of that when it’s time. And then, unless you are really in the mood to help me move - refuse to (and keep reminding me that I need to pay someone)!! I figure, since 1996, I've moved 12 times - and that's if I counted correctly........ It’s about damn time I pay someone else to do it!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
It's been one of the 'bad days'......
I thought this place would be something we made ours.
I thought OUR place would bring us closer.
I guess I was mistaken.
It makes me sad to think that I put myself out there - to HELP someone else - and this is where I end up. I left a good (and hell of a lot cheaper) living arrangement to be with the one I loved, and the one I thought loved me. Now, I'm going back home - to pay off the bills that continued piling up, even after he moved out.
There are many good times I will remember from this experience, and there are bad ones. Some times I even wonder if I'm mostly to blame - the chaos that my life was over the last year - was it really fair to inflict that on someone else? But, if we were meant to be together, he would have never broken up with me in the middle of what was the hardest year of my life. We would have found a way. It doesn't matter, I made it anyway............
I wish I could have seen that this was how it would end - but, as they say, love is BLIND. I certainly didn't see it coming to this - and that makes me sad.
In any case, I do believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, and that you should smile because it happened, not cry because its over. But just because I believe doesn't mean its the way I feel - a broken heart doesn't really feel that good.
I've spent the majority of the day crying (on and off); today, watching the place that was supposed to be ours become something that just contained my belongings (and not many of them) was hard. Tom's been gone for months now, but it's like one of those things, 'seeing' the things leaving, made it all so much more real. Today rates right up there (in 3rd place) with the day Dad died, and the day I left NC to move back home - crying for 6 hours straight.
Maybe I should be over it, maybe I shouldn't - but, bear with me my friends, moving out of OUR place isn't helping me forget - it's making me pick up the broken pieces of my life and try to put them back together ----------- all over again.
(O....And some guy picked me up at Target, I so thought Karen was pulling my leg! For real, my eyes are all puffy and swollen and red as Satan, and my hair was CRAZY........Who the hell would wanna pick that up?? Well, I gave him my number, but right up front, it's not an option, he's got jacked up teeth, and u know how I am about that. It did brighten up my gloomy day just a bit!)
I thought OUR place would bring us closer.
I guess I was mistaken.
It makes me sad to think that I put myself out there - to HELP someone else - and this is where I end up. I left a good (and hell of a lot cheaper) living arrangement to be with the one I loved, and the one I thought loved me. Now, I'm going back home - to pay off the bills that continued piling up, even after he moved out.
There are many good times I will remember from this experience, and there are bad ones. Some times I even wonder if I'm mostly to blame - the chaos that my life was over the last year - was it really fair to inflict that on someone else? But, if we were meant to be together, he would have never broken up with me in the middle of what was the hardest year of my life. We would have found a way. It doesn't matter, I made it anyway............
I wish I could have seen that this was how it would end - but, as they say, love is BLIND. I certainly didn't see it coming to this - and that makes me sad.
In any case, I do believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, and that you should smile because it happened, not cry because its over. But just because I believe doesn't mean its the way I feel - a broken heart doesn't really feel that good.
I've spent the majority of the day crying (on and off); today, watching the place that was supposed to be ours become something that just contained my belongings (and not many of them) was hard. Tom's been gone for months now, but it's like one of those things, 'seeing' the things leaving, made it all so much more real. Today rates right up there (in 3rd place) with the day Dad died, and the day I left NC to move back home - crying for 6 hours straight.
Maybe I should be over it, maybe I shouldn't - but, bear with me my friends, moving out of OUR place isn't helping me forget - it's making me pick up the broken pieces of my life and try to put them back together ----------- all over again.
(O....And some guy picked me up at Target, I so thought Karen was pulling my leg! For real, my eyes are all puffy and swollen and red as Satan, and my hair was CRAZY........Who the hell would wanna pick that up?? Well, I gave him my number, but right up front, it's not an option, he's got jacked up teeth, and u know how I am about that. It did brighten up my gloomy day just a bit!)
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Get the hell outta of my face!!!!!
Fair warning its not 12:30 yet and i've had it today. So this is not so nice
I just have a few questions
If my job has NOTHING to do with this oh so wonderful computer system here why would you call me when you dont know what to do. Now please understand that this is not due to the lack of knowlegdge of computers i just believe that this system was designed VERY poorly.
So if you have worked on the system for say oohhh 6 yrs why would you come to me. And what the hell have you done inthe past when you have had the same problem cause guess what. I know this is not the 1st time a manufacturer has established a new product. (Please, do correct me if im wrong there.) And if your gonna come to me and i tell you I have no clue you need to figure it out DONT call me out when the work is wrong cause you were to lazy to call 800-I-Need-help to figure it out. Oh yep did i mention there was a FREE 800# that will walk you thru step by stem everything that needs to be done.
Can you tell I’m tired of the BS here
But on a lighter note after my last conversation with my boss I do feel a little more secure in believing that my job is not one of the ones on the chopping block this month.
Aahhh that feels better. And who would have thought that i could scream and there would be tons of people out there that may read it. Kristine what did you say this thing was called again. The internet??? very cool stuff
I just have a few questions
If my job has NOTHING to do with this oh so wonderful computer system here why would you call me when you dont know what to do. Now please understand that this is not due to the lack of knowlegdge of computers i just believe that this system was designed VERY poorly.
So if you have worked on the system for say oohhh 6 yrs why would you come to me. And what the hell have you done inthe past when you have had the same problem cause guess what. I know this is not the 1st time a manufacturer has established a new product. (Please, do correct me if im wrong there.) And if your gonna come to me and i tell you I have no clue you need to figure it out DONT call me out when the work is wrong cause you were to lazy to call 800-I-Need-help to figure it out. Oh yep did i mention there was a FREE 800# that will walk you thru step by stem everything that needs to be done.
Can you tell I’m tired of the BS here
But on a lighter note after my last conversation with my boss I do feel a little more secure in believing that my job is not one of the ones on the chopping block this month.
Aahhh that feels better. And who would have thought that i could scream and there would be tons of people out there that may read it. Kristine what did you say this thing was called again. The internet??? very cool stuff
Prayer for the day!
So true and so cute! Just had to put it out there :)
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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