Not sure really.....

I feel like I've fallen into a dark place. I can't seem to get out. I am facing so many things in life that I can't seem to control or even grasp a hold of. All the speed bumps we are suppose to overcome in life. I have faced some steep ones. Although I feel the ones I am up against right now are the highest ones by far. I'm struggling with not knowing what the right thing to do is. One wrong decision could make or break the relationship I have with my daughter in the future. I sit back and say she will love me for it later and no it will be much later in life when she truly understand why I had to do what is right for her. Had I know that this part of parenting was so hard I might of done it different. Then I think God gave her to me for a reason. Be it to straighten my life out and start a new one with Justice. I have more support from family and friends than anyone could ever ask for yet I still feel like I'm alone. Why? I am struggling to make myself believe I am a good mother when I know I am but notice I am constantely reassure myself as if I truly don't believe it. I have made so many mistake in life and know that's how we grow and become who we are. But have a huge fear in failing at being a mother. Its like if I fail at that there is no turning back. I have days where this subject is all I think about. I wake up and its on my mind all day until I evenually fall asleep. From time to time I dream about it. I just want to be "normal" so to speak and think, dream about Justice growing up having no problems and not have to hide how she feels because she thinks she is going to hurt someone's feelings. That my job as her mom. To take all her fears away. I have a hard time letting go of her because I don't want her to get hurt. That fear didn't come about until she started being more independent. I am starting to think that this is why people have children so close in age or have 3,5 or even 12 children in there family. So that they always feel like they are taking care of someone and never get that feeling of fear having to let go. I could be totally wrong. I just need to realize that she is a little girl who is going to be a woman like me and all the other woman in my life that I look up to. If I don't let go now it will get harder and more painful as she gets older for the both of us. (it will hurt me more than her I know this) Thanks for reading. I just had to get these things off my chest so that maybe it will not consume my thoughts for the day.
BTW. When Justice is 13/14 years old and hates her mother could someone please send me this via e-mail. Just I so that I remember at one point she was that little girl that loved me and I would do anything for.